meat drawer

Back in college, I found a post on Reddit promising the ultimate economic meal.

I was a balanced casserole containing beef, chicken, peppers, broccoli, onions, and beans.

Excited by the prospect of forever feeding myself cheaply, I went all in.

I quadrupled the recipe and spent an afternoon laboring over this dish of epic proportions.

This was the holy grail of meal prep that would simplify my life immensely.

By evening, I had about 10 pounds of product… just needed a place to store it.

I looked around the house and found no vessel worthy of accommodating such mass.

A sensible person would consider multiple containers. Nonsense. My creation deserved better and was not to be separated from itself.

I then found the ultimate receptacle... the vegetable crisper at the bottom of the fridge.

It was not only the perfect size but also retractable for easy access.

I transferred all 10 lbs of casserole into the drawer. It fits perfectly.

6 pm. Time for dinner. Time to feast.

I grabbed my largest soup ladle and plated a dish with one fell swoop.

I took a bite and it tasted terrible.

The closest approximation is meaty, oniony cardboard veiled in a thin layer of slime. A mouthful of despair seasoned with regret.

I immediately called my mom to help me do a post-mortem.

Turns out I made the following mistakes while cooking the dish:

1. I didn’t drain the canned beans and poured in everything along with the slimy bean juice.

2. I didn’t cook the onions enough. They were mostly raw.

3. Salt and pepper was the only seasoning.

I fucked up, but I was in too deep.

I was poor and couldn’t lose my investment, so I sucked it up and choked it down.

For 5 days, this meal was my existence. Large amounts of melted cheese and sriracha made it slightly more bearable.

I grew more weary with each passing plate. At the halfway point, I came to a crossroads: finish the job or throw it out and cut my losses.

I chose neither.

On day 6, I resumed my regular diet but left the meat drawer in the fridge.

It would become useful. I’d revisit with a better plan at a later date.

I lived with my brother at the time. On day 10, he entered the house and was hit by a catastrophic smell.

“Dude, wtf, it smells like a dead body in here.”

It's worth sharing that until this point, I kept quiet about my forsaken casserole.

There was no more hiding. The dish had impregnated itself into the air. The reek was center stage and center nostril.

Upon discovery of the situation, my brother ordered the immediate termination of the meat drawer and took a pic for archival reasons:

It was time to face the music. The debt had become due.

With a heavy heart, I removed the drawer and dumped its contents into the garbage out front.

I felt like Frodo casting the ring into the fires of Mount Doom. The meat drawer did not want to be destroyed. Its power nearly overcame me.

But destroy it I did.

As the final remains slapped into the dumpster, I experienced a cool wave of relief cascading from head to toe.

I felt lighter. Clearer. Back to myself again.

You may wonder why I’m sharing this random story with no utility value.

There is no reason. I told you when you subscribed that sometimes I write about absolutely nothing.

However, if we are going to derive a lesson, it’s to ensure you don’t have any meat drawers in your life.

Meat drawers are things that stink up your existence.

They are the rotten relationships, habits, beliefs, obligations, and objects stewing at the bottom of your fridge.

You can't "add" your way out of a meat drawer. Buying nice food will only distract you for a moment. No amount of baking soda will mask the smell.

Meat drawers taint everything nice in your life's fridge.

So take a little sniff and do a little scan. If you find a meat drawer, throw it out now and thank me later.

If you found this post helpful/entertaining or know someone who would, I’d love if you could share it with them and invite them to subscribe:

https://www.entreflaneur.com/p/meat-drawer

Cool things I found during my weekly internet stroll.

Guy draws self-portraits on 50 different drugs. This is a great fun way to discover new drugs to try.

FRICKIN LASER BEAMS are finally here. US tests out new HELIOS laser weapon, capable of delivering up to 120 kilowatts of destructive force.

This website lets you instantly find movie clips by phrase. Search “frickin laser beams” if you didn’t get my reference above.

Turn any image into ASCII art instantly.

Served up by Spijker & me.

No Time For Tears - Nick Morgan Rework | Birds of Mind

GBP (feat. 21 Savage) | Central Cee

Never Without You | NTEIBINT, Σtella (oldy but a gem)

The Truth Is | Σtella, Redinho (also old but I just discovered Σtella and they’re great.)